Taking Over Me
by Lucy Maria Elmer
Summary: After a hard day Diane and Ric muse about their past.


A Diane Lloyd story.

Dedicated to Luce (teacherchez).

For Laura Sadler. Holbys shining light.

Please dont sue me for using the song or the Holby characters. I'm a poor student and I mean no harm lol!

Diane Lloyd sat in her lounge; a blanket pulled tightly around her, the rain making a soothing tapping sound on the windows as it fell outside. Candlelight filled the room, shadows flickering on the walls and making the room seem a little menacing to the pretty doctor who was so absorbed in her thoughts that she barely heard the thunder rumbling outside and the trees rustling in the strong wind.

It had been a long day. Her first patient was a little child who needed surgery. She'd been in a car accident and was barely a year old. As hard as they had fought to save her she passed away when she was in intensive care, her distraught parents at her side. All Diane kept thinking was that she was so small. So small and so innocent and so perfect and yet there she had been, unable to fight and unable to live the life that was stretching so far in front of her. She'd seen a lot of death in her job, it seemed to be a part that was inescapable and she knew that with what she'd chosen to do with her life it would be an inevitable part of her career. Today though she couldn't help but be affected.

Since her termination she'd tried so hard to push the emotions she was feeling about it aside and try and get on with things. The only time she'd really let those overwhelming feelings show was after she'd been told about Chrissie's baby Amanda being so ill and she'd been found crying by Ric. At that moment every single feeling she'd had, grief, regret and sadness came flowing out and she'd never been gladder to have him there to hold on to as she cried.

Today was the same. She couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but seeing that little girl so small, and helpless and reliant on them to save her, just hit her so hard. All she could think about was the baby that she could have had. The one that had been starting to grow inside her and the loss that she had felt after terminating the baby that she and Steve had created before he had died. She felt selfish for doing what she had done after seeing that tiny little girl lose her fight for life. She knew that at the time it had been the right decision, but it didn't stop her from wondering and it certainly didn't stop her from wishing she had thought about it more. That was something she wished every day.

Once again she had found herself crying, and just like the last time Ric had been the one to find her in tears. She tried to brush her emotions aside as per usual. She even tried to put it down to PMT, but as per usual he saw right through it and without even questioning her he took her into his arms and held her as the tears fell, and he carried on holding her until they stopped.

He was the only one who she'd ever really let her guard down with. He was the first one she'd turned to when she had found out she was pregnant and the one who she'd wanted at her side the day she decided to terminate, although ultimately she couldn't let him risk his job at the Hadlington. He was, and always had been, her rock. The one she could always rely on. She hadn't really realised how much he had meant to her however or the strength of those feelings she had for him until that afternoon. For so long she had taken for granted that he would always be there with her and that ultimately they would find their way back to each other, but never had she betted on some outside force coming along and nearly stealing all that away as had happened that day.

Not long after Ric had comforted Diane and she felt ready to work again, they had made their way to give a patient a not so good diagnosis. To say he didn't take it very well was an understatement. He had grabbed Ric and demanded a second opinion as if expecting that threatening him would change what was wrong. Before the orderlies and doctors had managed to pull the man off Ric he had a black eye and numerous other injuries and Diane had never been so scared in her life. The anger which resonated from the man as he attacked Ric was unlike any she had seen before and never in all the time they had known each other had she been as terrified or worried about Ric as she had been then.

Even after that had occurred he had tried to protect her. He had tried to reassure her that he was all right as if sensing that more tears were threatening to spill from her striking blue eyes. Even when she was checking over his wounds and cleaning them out he put on a brave face when he was so obviously in pain and in a way it made her angry. She couldn't believe she'd almost lost him. She couldn't believe just how much was left unsaid between them, and she was angry that he let her lean on him but when it came to him going through anything he shut it away deep inside just to protect her, and she had snapped at him. She had stood in that room and just shouted until there was no more anger left within her and finished her shift leaving him stunned, sitting there in silence as Kath finished tending to his injuries.

She felt numb now. She had cried so many tears that day that she felt as if there weren't any more left to shed. How could she have shouted at him like that after what he had done for her that day? How could she be angry with him when it was the patients fault he was injured and not his own? How could she be angry that he was trying to protect her, just like always, because he loved her? That had to be the reason otherwise why else would he put up with her chasing Danny or Alex or Tom? Throughout everything he had been there just in case she needed him without ever asking anything in return, just as he had before they had been reunited again at Holby, when they were a couple before. Before she had run away scared just like always. Before she had run away from him and that incredible love they had shared; though the bond was still there even now.

She had done the same thing with her pregnancy. She had got scared and run because the thought of being a mother was something so unexpected and new to her that she couldn't see any other way to deal with things.

She was getting tired of running now, and as she sat there, the storm raging outside and the rain pouring, she wanted nothing more than to be happy. Really happy for the first time in a long while. Sure on the outside she appeared cheerful to her colleagues, happy to be progressing up the career ladder and happy with her life, but it was all a facade and now she felt as if it wasn't enough.

Feeling claustrophobic and realising the storm was moving away and the rain was falling less heavily Diane got up. Walking around the room she blew out the candles, which had bathed the room in their golden glow, grabbed a jacket and headed out to her car. She needed to get out and to think. She needed to run though where to she didn't know.

~*~*~*~*

Ric pulled up outside his house, wincing in pain as his sprained wrist and bruised ribs sent pain throughout his body. He looked at himself in the mirror; his eye swollen and his face bruised, and sighed. He looked a mess.

He gently climbed out of the car and slowly made his way inside. All he could think of was Diane. How much she was still hurting over losing Steve and terminating her child no matter how hard she tried not to show it and her face when he had been attacked. He could tell she was scared for him, but then why had she shouted? She was so angry that it broke his heart to see her like that.

He wanted to understand. He wanted to understand what was going through her mind to make her hurt the way he knew she was hurting. He loved her and would do anything for her. He valued her happiness more than his own, but as close as they were it still felt as if she was keeping him at arms length. Like she was too scared to really let him in and face up to any of the pain she was feeling and letting him see she wasn't as strong as she made out to be.

Ric made his way into the kitchen and took a couple of the painkillers he had been given at the hospital. He then made his way to the lounge and sat down gently on the sofa. Even with the tail end of the storm outside the house was quiet. Too quiet. The silence to him hung heavily in the air and for the first time in a long while he realised how lonely he was. He'd give anything to have some laughter in his house, anything to break the silence.

He walked over to the phone and started to dial Jess and Lisa's number. Jess had been frantic when she heard that he'd been hurt and after Diane had left had sat with him while he was being treated. She'd told him to call if he needed anything, but then Ric realised she was still at work and he didn't want to worry her there.

Putting the phone down he walked over to his CD player and put on the radio in a futile attempt to try and distract himself from the silence and his worry about Diane. He found himself walking over to a cabinet he had in the room and pulling a photo out of a drawer that he hadn't looked at in a long time. It was one that had been taken before he was at Holby when he and Diane were together before. They both looked so young...well Diane did, he looked almost the same. She was still as beautiful now as she was then he thought to himself smiling, probably even more so. Both were sitting under the cover of some trees by a lake, Diane sitting between Rics legs resting her head back against his chest, and Ric with his arms around her kissing the top of her head as she smiled happily. How could he have let her slip away? He wondered to himself sadly.

Putting the photo into his pocket he turned off the CD player. He needed to get out for a bit, to think, and he couldn't do it here where the silence was bearing down on him heavily. He grabbed his jacket and car keys and locking the door behind him climbed into his car.

He turned on the ignition and then the radio and froze as the haunting words of a song began to wash over him. Then turning the key he began to drive, the songs words stirring thoughts and feelings in his head he had long been trying to keep buried.

You don't remember me but I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
But who can decide what they dream?  
and dream I do...

Those words rang so true to Ric and tugged at his heart. So often he thought back to the days he and Diane had been together, how happy they'd been and how in love they both were. Increasingly lately he had been thinking more and more about her, remembering the old times, his feelings resurfacing for her intensely.

Ever since he'd seen her sitting in his chair that first day back at Holby he realised he still loved her. But did she love him? Sure she had turned to him about her unborn baby and had opened up to him after she had heard about baby Amanda, but what did that mean? Did she just see him as a friend? As a father figure who she could turn to for comfort? Why else would she chase after Danny or Alex or Tom when she had him right there willing to drop everything for her and be there for her no questions asked.

Ric sighed. She was the first thing he thought about in the mornings and the last thing at night before he went to sleep at night. When things were rough it was the thought of her that kept him going, those striking blue eyes and that lovely smile...but it was as if she didn't realise.

He didn't think he was that great a catch. If someone asked him whether he was good enough for her he would have said no straight away, but what he did think was he'd take care of her. He wouldn't let her get hurt and he'd love her unconditionally, he already did. He couldn't admit that to her though, not when he wasn't sure how she felt about him, and so he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, or tried to at least.

At night though he couldn't shield himself from thoughts about her. At night, just like in the song, even though he tried so hard not to think of her, he did. Sometimes she was all he could think of. But he had begun to resign himself to the fact that for her the past was just the past and a part of it she didn't really want to remember. His friendship was enough for her and maybe she just didn't feel the same.

I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me

Have you forgotten all I know  
And all we had?  
You saw me mourning my love for you  
And touched my hand  
I knew you loved me then

As Diane drove she found the words of the song that played on the radio touching her deeply. So many of them rang true to her life and so many of the songs words reminded her of the man to whom her heart would always belong.

Their relationship was something that confused her. They were so close. She wouldn't hesitate to go to him if she needed advice or comfort and she knew he wouldn't hesitate to give it to her. He was her best friend. But once upon a time they'd been lovers and that was something that Diane just couldn't forget.

Sure she had gone out with Danny and Steve and Tom and was close to Alex, but they weren't Ric. No-one she'd been with since then had ever come close to having the kind of relationship with her that she and Ric had shared, and she believed with all her heart that the bond they held now was one that would never or could never be broken. She wasn't a weak person, she had so much strength and independence that it shone through in her personality every day, but now after working with the man she had once loved and left she found her thoughts drifting to him more and more.

She wondered whether Ric had remembered all of the good times they had shared before she had hurt him, or whether for that same exact reason he had chose to forget. She knew they should have talked things through with him before going and she knew when she walked out of that door she'd miss him deeply. And she was right; she did miss him, so much that the pain made her heart feel like it was going to break. But then, like with her baby, it had been the right choice for her then, although now sometimes she wondered what her life would have been like if she had stayed. Whether she would have married him, whether they'd have had their own kids, whether she'd be happy and not scared anymore.

Diane thought of all the times that he'd been there for her since she'd arrived at Holby. She thought about how he had been her strength and kept her going and how he had been the person dearest to her even since the first day she arrived back. Could he really be in love with her? Or was she more of a daughter to him? Or was she merely a friend? She couldn't be sure.

But all those times he had comforted her, like when Steve died, then about her baby and then that very day when she was in tears, deep down she knew that anytime she cried, he would be there because he loved her. Every time he held her, or put a tender hand on her shoulder like he did when she was grieving for her child she just knew that maybe there was more to his feelings than he was showing. She also knew that maybe she was just afraid to admit it to herself that he did love her back.

I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me

I look in the mirror and see your face  
If I look deep enough  
So many things inside that are just like you are taking over

Ric turned into the little park where he often came to think and parked his car so he had a view of the lake in front of him, on which the wind made soft ripples in the water. He listened more intently to the songs words, shocked at how they described him and Diane. How she made him feel alive with her youthful energy and sunny smile and her unfailing beauty.  
Everywhere he turned thoughts of her were there, the beautiful woman who made his heart beat so fast when he was with her, and who pained it when she spoke joyfully about Tom or Alex. He would never deny her happiness. If she was happy with them then he would never hold it against her or try and talk her out of relationships because of his own feelings. That was one of the reasons why he hid his feelings and just let her talk to him when she needed to. It didn't mean he didn't miss her though. Sure he worked with her every day but it wasn't the same. For now though if she was happy without him, he was happy to let her live her life and be the friend she needed. He wouldn't do anything to hurt her, and by keeping his feelings to himself he was pretty sure he wasn't.

I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me

Diane turned into the park and let the last words of the song fill her car. She always came here to think. It was so beautiful and peaceful and worlds apart from where she spent hectic days and nights working. Here she could get lost in her thoughts forever and tonight that was her plan. To think things through, to finally decide where she wanted her life to go, to decide once and for all who her heart belonged to, and to decide whether she was ready to take the risk that could change things forever because Ric was worth it, she knew he was. She just didn't know if she could make him happy. For all the confidence she radiated there was so much more to her than people realised, and she didn't know whether Ric deserved to be put through all that. She was no way near as strong as she made out to be.

I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me

As the last notes of the song finished Ric turned the radio off and listened to the rhythm of the gentle rain falling outside which was almost soothing. He thought again about Diane's getting so angry with him, tears shining in her eyes as she walked out of the hospital room. He still couldn't figure out why she'd done that. Could it have been a sign that she did indeed love him and was afraid of losing him? Or could it have been the fact that the emotion of that sweet little girl dying was brought to the fore by her possibly losing him? He wasn't sure. All he knew was he wanted to make it all better because he could never bear to lose her.

Ric rested his head down on the steering wheel trying to get her face out of his mind, if only for a little while, but when pain shot through his ribs he quickly got back up and decided to get out of the car. He carefully climbed out and put his face up to the sky, the rain beating down on it and refreshing him. He noticed for the first time that another car was now parked a short distance from his and the driver of that one was doing the same as him, climbing out and putting her face up to the heavens.

For a moment Ric stood there letting the water cool him. He turned to the other person who was sweeping long wet hair off her face. He was sure he knew her from somewhere, the outline was vaguely familiar and so was the car, although in the dark when it was cloudy and rain was falling now heavily from the skies it was hard to tell. Shaking his head he turned away. It was only when a car went past and the figure was lit up under the light of the headlights that he realised it was Diane. He frowned. Had she been crying again?

Slowly he made his way over to her but then realised that was a bad idea seeing as she hadn't been looking his way when the cars lights had lit up her figure and she probably thought it was some stranger. He noticed her take a step back.

"Don't come any closer or I swear I'll call the police." She told him forcefully.  
"Fine if you want to call the police on an old man." He joked.  
Diane stepped forwards.  
"Ric?" She said puzzled.  
"The one and only." He replied. "What are you doing out here in the rain?" He asked her crossing his arms.  
"I could ask you the same thing." She told him sweetly.  
"Don't dodge the question Diane. You stormed out of work earlier and I want to know that you're okay."  
"I'm fine." She told him lamely. "Look I'm gonna go Ric, okay?" She added softly opening the car door and climbing back in.

Ric walked around the side and before she could even think about it had taken the keys out of the ignition. It was only then with the interior light on Diane realised how badly hurt Ric had been.

"Oh god Ric..." She whispered reaching out to touch his cheek then snapping at him "what the hell did you take my car keys for?"  
"So much for sympathy." He joked.  
"Ric it's not funny! Please just let me go home." She told him.  
He knelt down by the door and pain shot through his body.  
"Owwww damn it." He shouted, though he toned it down so he didn't scare her.

Diane felt her heart leap to her throat and break into a million pieces as she heard him shout in pain. Pain from injuries she had left him alone with because she was angry, more with herself than anything or anyone else. She hated seeing him in pain and seeing his face she knew he was in a lot of it.

"Ric stop it!" She told him tearfully.  
"Stop what?" He asked her taking deep breaths to ease the pain that was shooting through his body.  
"What you always do. Stop trying to protect me. You always do it! You let me come to you if I'm hurting but if anything's wrong with you then you play it down like its not important. Ric it is important." She told him.  
"I do it because I don't want to burden you Diane. I don't want you to hurt." He told her truthfully still wincing hoping to comfort her in some way.  
"It hurts me more when you're hurting but won't tell me." She admitted. "I want to know Ric. I don't care if you think you're going to burden me, you couldn't ever do that. I don't want you to have to go through things alone because you're worried I'm too young to understand, or too weak to be burdened by it."  
"Is that what you think? That I think you're too weak or too young? God Diane I thought you'd know me better than that by now." He said with a slight hint of irritation in his voice.

She looked at her hands, which rested on her lap.  
"I think you are one of the strongest people I know Diane. You've been through some tough times but you always come through it. I have so much respect for they way you handle things and there is no way I think you're too young to understand anything I'm going through."  
"Then why not let me in Ric?" She asked him quietly with a hint of frustration in her voice.  
"Why don't you?" He countered quickly.  
"Ric I do..." She answered quietly.  
"Do you? I mean do you really? Diane when we were together you ran. You didn't let me in then. Today when I was sitting in that hospital room in god knows how much pain you got angry and then you ran again. Why do you do that? Why can't you tell me what's really going on? I mean I have ideas. I know you're grieving for Steve and your baby but how can you expect to get through it if you won't go through it with anyone else?" He asked her.  
"Don't put a guilt trip on me Ric. You have no right." She told him angrily. "Give me my keys and let me go!" She shouted.  
"I won't. I'm not going to let you run again." He told her resolutely.

Diane put her head in her hands. He was right she did always run. She came here to make decisions and yet there she was ready to run again, and ready to once again push everything to the back of her mind. She couldn't do it anymore. She was tired of it.

"I'm not as strong as you think I am Ric. I'm not strong at all." She told him softly.  
Ric, glad the anger had seemed to subside, reached out a hand and have hers a gentle squeeze.  
"Of course you are." He soothed.  
"But I'm not, otherwise why would I run so much? I ran from you, I ran from Steve, I terminated my child Ric."  
"I know. I was there." He told her.  
"Just like always." She told him softly smiling. "I'm tired of running Ric. I'm so tired of leaving behind everything I care about, like I left Steve and like I...like I terminated the baby...like I left you." She added.  
Ric looked down at the ground sadly and Diane could feel tears coming. She reached out to touch his face but he winced in pain pulling his hand away from hers and holding his chest.  
"What did that guy do to you?" She asked him concerned.  
"He bruised my face and a few ribs...I'm okay Diane" He reassured as he saw the worry etched on her face.  
"Ric why didn't you say anything? You must be really hurting. Why are you doing it again? I wish you wouldn't always try and do this." She told him tearfully leaning over into the back and pulling out a blanket and then sliding out of the seat. She put a hand out to Ric and helped him up then shut her looked at her questioningly.

"Well seeing as we're obviously going to have a heart to heart we may as well do it comfortably now the rain has stopped." She told him spreading the blanket out on the ground and helping him sit down on it, then joining him taking in their surroundings.  
"Do you come here a lot?" Ric asked her softly.  
"Yeah, to think. It's beautiful isn't it? Reminds me of the place we used to go to talk." She said quietly.  
"It is beautiful, and I never really thought about that before. It is similar isn't it?" He told her shifting so he was comfortable.  
"I'm okay." He told her answering her question before she had even asked it.  
"Ric..."  
"Sorry. Habit." He told her. "Look Diane I care about you. That's why I don't come to you. You have your own life, you have Tom and I don't want to be the person to come along and make things miserable. I try and protect you because I care and because, like I said, I don't want to burden you. You're a beautiful person and I don't want to see you in any pain. So I try and protect you from it, but at the same time I try and be there for you."  
"I don't need protecting. I'm a big girl Ric. What I want...What I need is to know that you can come to me, because I couldn't bear to know you're keeping things from me. I care about you too much to let you go through things alone...So don't okay? I appreciate what you try and do for me, I really do, but please respect me enough to make this a two-way thing." She pleaded. Ric took Diane's hand in his own and squeezed it.

"I do respect you." He told her.  
"Really? Then why have you been snappy lately?" She asked him.  
"I haven't." He said defensively.  
"Yes Ric you have. When I've spoken about Tom or Alex..."  
"Can't we have one conversation without them being mentioned?" He asked gruffly.  
"Why are you being like this? They're people I care about." She told him.  
"And I care about you." He told her sharply. "You want complete honesty?" He asked. Diane nodded.  
"I think you run because you're frightened. Because you're a coward. If anything happens which could threaten your independence, where you could really honestly care about something, and which you have no control over, you get scared and you run away from it. You want to be in control and you can't always be in control. You pursue meaningless relationships because you'd rather be in one where you don't have to commit than one where you could really care about someone."  
"One like ours was you mean?" Diane asked quietly. Rics expression softened.  
"I know you care about Alex and Tom, though I have to admit I am a little confused about the attraction of Tom Campbell-Gore. Then again I was confused enough about why you were attracted to me... But do you really care about them? Can you see yourself having a future with either of them?" He asked her. Diane looked at the ground.

"Maybe I don't want a future with anyone." Diane commented. "Maybe I'm happy being alone and just having fun."  
"Are you really?" He asked her. "You wanted honesty from me, now I want it from you."  
"I don't have to do this." Diane told him getting up and making her way to her car.  
"I have your keys remember." He told her.  
"Then I'll walk." She told him.  
"Diane don't do this. Sit back down."  
"I can't." She told him crying.  
"Why not?" He asked her softly. "Diane talk to me." He pleaded hating himself for making her hurt like this, but knowing it was what they both needed. To get things out in the open.  
"Because if I say it... If I finally say it then I can't take it back and that scares me." She admitted honestly knowing that was what she was afraid of and was what she'd always been so afraid of. She was afraid of committing to anything in case she messed up and of revealing her feelings only to get hurt.  
"Diane it's me. You don't have to be afraid." He told her softly.  
For a moment there was silence and then Diane whispered something Ric had to strain to hear.  
"No." She told him softly.  
"No to you don't have to be afraid? Or no to my question?" He asked frowning.  
"No to both. No I'm not happy being alone. No I'm not happy just having fun, though it was nice for a while, and no I can't see myself having a future with Alex or Tom. I am scared you're right. I am a coward. I'm scared of committing myself to anything or anyone in case something goes wrong and I get hurt. I'm scared of giving myself so completely to someone that I'm not totally in control anymore, and today when I saw you hurt I was so scared because I could have lost you. I could have lost you without having told you so many things that I've needed to tell you Ric. So I got angry, but I wasn't angry with you I was angry with me." She told him turning away from him.

"Diane..."  
"I left you because I was falling so in love with you I didn't know how to deal with it. I was young and when you asked me to marry you I freaked out and I ran away. When Steve wanted to go out more I ran because I think I could have been happy there and now he's dead, and when I found out about the baby I freaked out because... because I thought I wouldn't be a good enough mother. I was too wrapped up in my career to even consider having my baby. I'm just a really bad person." She told him sniffing.  
Ric got up slowly and walked up behind her. He put his arms around her waist and she leant back into him.  
"You are not a bad person. Those choices were the right ones at the time. Deep down you know that." He told her softly.  
"Even though I left you, you still think that?" She asked softly.  
"I do. Diane you did what you needed to. Besides you found your way back to me didn't you?" He commented being very thankful that she had come back into his life.  
"If I had lost you today I would never have forgiven myself." She admitted.  
"You're not going to lose me." He told her sincerely. "You asked me earlier why I've been snappy lately..."  
Diane nodded.  
"You're not pregnant are you?" She joked giggling.  
"I'd be a very frightened man if I were." He told her grinning then getting serious. "The reason I've been snappy is because...I've been jealous. You've been so caught up with Tom and in Alex's life that it felt like I was losing you. I don't want to lose you because I care about you Diane. Probably a lot more than I should. Probably a lot more than you care about an old man like me but there it is. But I was willing to stand in the sidelines if it made you happy. I still am." He told her.  
"You'd do that for me. Even if you..."  
"Love you." He finished. "Yes I would do it for you. Like I've said before Diane I care about you...and your happiness. I wouldn't stand in the way of your future even if I'm not it. Regardless of how I feel."  
Diane turned around and looked at him.  
"That's possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." She told him truthfully stroking his bruised cheek. "You never had anything to worry about Ric." She added.  
"What do you mean?" He asked her frowning, rubbing his hands up and down her arms as she shivered.

At this moment in the past she would have made some excuse to run. She could feel her heart beating so fast she was sure Ric could hear it, even over the strong wind, and the urge to make some excuse was strong, but she couldn't do that anymore, not to him and not to herself. He was a good man, a lovely man, he was the man who her heart belonged to and she couldn't hurt him anymore and she couldn't deny herself happiness. If there was one thing she had learnt from losing Steve it was that life is too short and regrets are too common an occurrence if things are left unsaid. She didn't want anymore regrets. Everything she wanted was right there in front of her.

"Alex and Tom...I do care about them you're right, but I don't love them. I never could. My heart's belonged to someone else since I was young and that someone Ric is you. I got angry today because that guy could have killed you and you would have died without knowing that I love you. And even then I couldn't tell you. When you were hurting in that room I still couldn't say it because I was afraid. I'm not anymore. I'm tired of being afraid. I want to thank you Ric Griffin for standing by me, for caring for me enough to let me come back to you on my own...for being willing to put my happiness before your own feelings. Thank you." She told him. Ric smiled and stroked her cheek softly.

"I'm sorry I've seemed so distant or if I've acted like I haven't cared. I guess I've always taken it for granted that I'd have you even if I never showed you how much you meant to me. I'm so sorry it took something like you getting hurt for me to admit that I love you." She told him. Ric kissed her forehead.

"And I'm sorry I didn't let you into my life like I should. I guess people make mistakes as they get older."  
"People make mistakes at any age Ric, believe me I know. And you are not old. You're the same man I fell in love with years ago...The one I've loved ever since." She told him as he rested his forehead against hers.  
"Thank you for coming back into my life." He whispered looking deep into her blue eyes. She smiled.  
"Thank you for being so patient and for being there for me. Thank you for waiting," She told him honestly smiling.  
"Well they do say good things come to those that wait Miss Lloyd." He told her smiling back.  
"Really? What else do they say?" She asked looking up at him sweetly.  
"Sometimes words are overrated." He whispered as he leant in to kiss her.

Diane's heart pounded as she felt his lips touched hers and that instant she knew she was where she wanted to be with the person she was meant to be with. It was like a new beginning. The running now finally was over and now she was where she belonged. Some force had brought them back together and she couldn't just ignore that. Her love for him had been rekindled the moment she first saw him when she had arrived at Holby and it was a love she was sure would endure. It already had and she wasn't about to lose that chance at happiness for anything.

Slowly Ric pulled away from her, his breath catching in his throat as he studied her expression worried that she'd leave him again even after everything they'd shared that night. He loved her more than words could ever express and that kiss which was so waited for was the most wondrous thing he had ever experienced. He felt the strength of her love in it, a love that had been lost to him for so long, but which now both were embracing again.

"Don't run." He whispered softly cupping her cheek in his sore hand, which she then tenderly kissed.  
She looked up at him, her striking blue eyes staring into chocolate brown.  
"No more running...by either of us." She told him reaching up to kiss him again feeling so blessed that as hard as it had been, a lot of her demons had finally been dealt with, and that Ric was the one who had gotten her to open up.  
Ric immediately deepened the kiss and they lowered themselves onto the blanket on the grass still kissing and still entwined in each other's arms.  
"Suits me." He whispered studying her angelic features under the light of the newly shining stars and thanking god that the night had happened and he had been blessed with an angel who he'd love and be loved in return by until their very last days.

Copyright (c) Lucy Maria Elmer 2003.


End file.
